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Real Housewives of Atlanta: Shit Stirring by Sheree March 5, 2012

Posted by Skippy in Real Housewives.
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Last Time: The ladies went to Africa and all was well in the world…until Cynthia and Kandi shit-talked Kim. DRAMA!

DAMMIT, these heffas are still in South Africa! But it’s their last day, so I should probably schedule my coronary for later. Lady Marlo inveigles some poor woman to help pack her luggage. NeNe thinks the ladies who do not care for Lady Marlo are “petty.” Cynthia and Kandi discuss the events of the prior evening, thus setting up the drama for tonight’s installment. Kandi is concerned that Sheree is putting her on “front street.” I did not realize ladies of such breeding used such common language.

Lady Marlo’s indentured servant is still packing, but is soon inveigled by the Lady NeNe to help pack her items. The Ladies are serenaded on their way out, and the Lady Phaedra notes that one must do more than “superficial things.” The Lady Sheree notes that the Africans are just “happy to be alive.” She’s learned so much. The Lady Cynthia says that petty things don’t matter…at least until they get back to the United States.

Back at the Biermann Manor, the Lady Kim is trying to find a nanny of sufficient class and breeding. She has two housekeepers, but the Manor needs so much more help. It’s so difficult to find good help, as the Lady Kim is finding out. She is distraught that Sweetie is sunbathing. Such is the life of the 1%.

At the Lady Cynthia’s estate, we are treated to a complaint about flying first-class. Lord Peter is helping Noelle with homework—they don’t have someone for that? At any rate, the Lady Cynthia has brought gifts…for Noelle. Lord Peter doesn’t get shit, but he still tells the Lady Cynthia that he is planning a celebration for their one-year anniversary. Certainly, this will occur without ANY problems.

Speaking of problems, the Lady NeNe’s ne-er do well son Bryson has been arrested, leading Lord Peter to spout some misogynistic bullshit about a man needing a man to raise him. Shut up, Papa Smurf.

I do not like Mama Joyce’s wig. Kandi tries to explain to Mama Joyce that Sheree is a shit-stirrer and that Kim ain’t a racist. Kandi does not want to have a falling out with Sheree or Kim. Dear, what is a season of the Real Housewives WITHOUT a falling out?

Anyway, we return to the Biermann Manor as the Lady Kim relates her sudden problems with Sweetie the Assistant and Kandi to Kendra the Interior Decorator…who also happens to be the woman from whom she and Kroy’s Fine Ass are leasing the house. IT’S A LEASE?!?


Fig. 1: Mmm, hm.

And what does the Lady Kim do that she needs an assistant?

The Ladies Phaedra and Kandi drive through Buckhead and discuss moving on up to the East Side. They want to see how the Lady Sheree’s new palatial and modern estate is coming along…
…it isn’t.

At the Biermann Manor, the Lady Sheree arrives to discuss the excursion to South Africa. Lady Kim buys Sheree’s lies hook, line and sinker. She minimizes her role in the shit-talking about Kim. Phaedra and Kandi arrive. Phaedra: “Lord have mercy, I know before the end of this lovely luncheon somebody is gonna bring up something about this black baby shenanigans and I’m gonna have to relive another episode of foolery.” Yep, pretty much.

Lord Peter got a prescription for Viagra. COMMERCIALS. He wants to throw a lavish party, but doesn’t bring his checkbook. The party planner is all, “Fuck a bunch of THIS.” Speaking of, the Lady NeNe refuse to bail ne’er do well Bryson out of jail—she says it’s time to show him “tough love.” Lord Peter implores her to bail him out. He’s an idiot. Shut up, fool.

Anyway. Back at the Biermann (LEASED) Manor, the Ladies who lunch and lease discuss the trip to South Africa. A tense silence ensues…and then Sheree-induced hell breaks loose. Kandi tries to explain “what really happened,” but Sheree will have none of this. Facts? Not in Sheree’s world! Phaedra ain’t even bothering…until Kandi asks her to weigh in as a neutral party. Kandi notes that there’s no use in trying to deal with Sheree. Kim claims that Sheree is a friend—a friend who pulls weave and talks shit.

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