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The Obligatory Year In Review Post January 3, 2011

Posted by Skippy in Observations.
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So, yeah, the Earth has successfully completed another revolution around its parent star. Apparently, this is of some significance to the carbon-based life forms that infest the planet, as evidenced by the multiple blog and Facebook status updates and year-end “specials” that recount the year.

Frankly, I barely remember what all happened this year, as the years are beginning to blur into one greyish march of days. Looking back over my blog postings, I can pretty much suss out a theme:

People are fucking stupid.

If my memory serves me correctly, we began 2010 with a bunch of stupidity. People expected President Obama’s magical negritude to save the world or something. It didn’t happen, and that made stupid people moar stupid. Then Arizona decided to enter the Stupidlympics and go for the gold with a new law that should have been titled “We Don’t Heart Immigrants” AND some crazy shit about what teachers could or should teach in their classes.

In the meantime, I began watching Tyler Perry movies. My IQ dropped fifteen points.

Then, May brought us the worst thing in the history of humankind, an event so horrible, so heinous, that future historians will likely point to this event as the beginning of the downfall of Western Civilization.

Fig. 1: Cthulhu Wears Prada

And then “Lost” ended not with a bang, but a bunch of the principal characters dead and in a chapel in the Afterlife (spoiler alert!). What is it with damn near every sci-fi show these days ending with some fairly hokey pseudo-spiritual “afterlife” bullshit?

Summer was awesome. I didn’t do jack shit this summer except go to a couple of “workshops” (academics LOVE workshops), sit around and play video games and read comic books before I realized I was pissing away too much money on shit I didn’t really like anymore (see: previous rants about Superman in the comics).

And who could forget this guy?

Fig. 2: That ascot makes Jesus sad.

Fall was equally awesome. Unfortunately, stupid people didn’t just up and go away. No, children, stupid people persisted in their stupidity. As the midterm elections drew near, the stupidity reached epic proportions. Campaign commercials flooded the airwaves. Republicans basically said that they will reforge the Blade That Was Broken and lead a last alliance of Men and Elves against the forces of Mordor…oh, wait. Sorry. They said that “Obamacare” would be the death of us all and that anyone who thinks differently is a damn dirty socialist! Because the American public can always be counted on to think critically and carefully about the issues, the Republicans did not regain a majority in the House and seriously erode the Democratic majority in the Senate.

That was sarcasm, in case you were wondering.

As the days grew shorter, the nights longer and colder, I discovered a great joy: drinking red wine whilst watching Top Chef or Project Runway and liveblogging over on Gawker.com. Children, snark is what got me through 2010. And it’s what’s going to get me through 2011, because I have a feeling that we’re in for another year chock full of stupid people doing stupid things and then expecting other people to congratulate them on their stupidity.

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