Pastors with iPhones (A Hit Dog Hollers, Part 3) September 23, 2010Posted by Skippy in Gay and Lesbian Issues, Religion.
Tags: blights upon humanity, Eddie Long, hot ass mess
Children, I have a feeling I’m going to be blogging about “Bishop” Eddie Long for, well, a long time. In this morning’s post, I linked to a site that had pictures that the good Bishop sent to the third litigant. Well, since they’re now all over the Internet, I can post them here. Aren’t you thrilled?
Fig. 1: I’m pretty sure this isn’t pastoral care.
I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable excuse for one of the young men in question to have received these photos with the signature “Eddie L. Long, Amazed by His Grace.”
Oh, children. There’s just one more tidbit that is just too funny to ignore. Long was supposed to be on the Tom Joyner Morning Show to respond to this, but he backed out. In his stead, he sent a lawyer. Here’s Long’s lawyer’s statement:
The photos don’t corroborate these charges. [Bishop Long] is a health advocate, he’s a weight lifter. Uh, he’s a fella, you know, who’s gonna go to work and he’s gonna have on a muscle shirt. And he’s gon’, you know, he may show up in church, uh, you know, in a muscle shirt. And… I know sure enough he can come, he comes down to my office in a muscle shirt. So, uh, you know, uh, there’s nothing really in those photographs that seems to me, uh, in any way that, uh, is uh, corroborative of, uh, of these allegations.
Oh, my Spock. Again, what pastor in his or her right mind sends young men pictures of themselves posing in muscle shirts? That’s the kind of thing you see on Manhunt.net or Guys with iPhones—not something a pastor would send to a parishioner, and certainly not to young’uns. But hark, sayeth the Lawyer! The good Bishop is a “health advocate”! So…er…is the Lawyer saying that the photos were sent as part of the P90X workout system? Well, Lawyer guy says that Eddie shows up to his office wearing a muscle shirt, so it’s all good, right?
I almost feel sorry for the Lawyer. I mean, if I had the unenviable task of representing a repressed, predatory, muscle-shirt wearing, jheri-toupee’d jackass, I’d be stuttering like a fool too.
Long says he will respond to these allegations on Sunday at church. I imagine that “New Birth” will be packed to the rafters this coming Sunday.