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Verizon iPhone? Make It So! August 9, 2010

Posted by Skippy in Technology.
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Verizon Wireless is known for its reliable service…and its shitty phones. My lords, do they have shitty phones.

Fig. 1: The Worst Phone in the World. I Haz It.

The one thing they have in their favor is that they’re NOT AT&T. I hate AT&T as much as I hate Eva Longoria, brussels sprouts, and Tyler Perry movies. So anything that hurts AT&T makes Skippy a happy boy. When the iPhone came out, I was so very tempted to go back to AT&T, or, as I simply call them, The Devil. So seduced was I by that sleek finish, the pretty, pretty screen, and the touchscreen technology that actually works, I almost consigned myself to two years and thousands of dollars spent with The Devil. I however pulled myself back from that abyss and stayed with Verizon and the Worst Phone in the World. Seriously. Try texting with the Krave ZN4 without experiencing flashes of homicidal rage. If you can, you could be the next Dalai Lama.

Anyway, I’ve been hearing rumors for nigh unto two years that Verizon would be getting the iPhone. See, they could have had the iPhone, but for their network being CDMA instead of the GSM network used by The Devil. According to a report on Huffington Post, Verizon could be getting the iPhone 4 as early as January.

Frankly, the iPhone is the one thing that would turn me from relatively normal human being into this:

Fig. 2: I bet that the iPhone can do a lot more than that Ring could.

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