Shut Up, Prince.

Read this bit of foolishness uttered by Prince:

He says, “The Internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it.

“The Internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

Source

Keep in mind that this is the same fool who, when he got pissed off with Warner Brothers, decided to change his name, scrawl the word “SLAVE” on his cheek and stop performing the songs for which he became famous at his concerts. Let me be clear: I haven’t gotten over the fact that I paid sixty good dollars to go see his Purpleness when he played in Atlanta back in 1997…and all he played was shit from that shitty “Crystal Ball” three CD crap set. The closest he came to “Adore” or “Scandalous” or “Purple Rain” was a fucking medley. So, yeah. Sixty dollars down the drain because of his fucking ego and irritation with a system that had worked pretty damn well for him previously.

Also, this is the same fool who once described his marriage to Mayte as a “spiritual union” and then later became freakin’ Jehovah’s Witness.

So children, you can imagine how I take The Artist Once Again Known as Prince’s pronouncements about, well, anything.

Let’s examine his Purpleness’s comments about the Internet, shall we? First, he compares the Internet—the World Wide Web, that entity that billions of people use to communicate, conduct business transactions, do research, etc.—to MTV. I’m ignoring his first sentence, because it’s basically him whining about money. Millions of people whine about money. While his comments about iTunes are…whatever, they’re not full of STUPID, unlike his comparison of the Internet to a television station. Yes, he’s right; MTV has totally lost relevance, but when was the last time anyone used MTV to blog? To communicate with family and friends? To watch a movie? To conduct scholarly research and register for academic conferences?

Oh, yeah, that’s right. MTV WAS NEVER MORE THAN JUST A TV STATION, you old fucking fossil! Yes, the Internet will probably fade into the background condition of our lives—it certainly won’t be “revolutionary” or “new,” but it, like the telephone and the television, will pretty much be around for a very, very long time, Prince. Besides, Prince, it’s usually illogical to compare a utility to a television station. I guess you didn’t do too well on the analogies portion of the SATs.

But then, he plunges headlong in to WTFuckery with his next statement: “Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

Um.

No. SRSLY.

Children, I have no words. I’d like to try to break down that foolishness, but it is so illogical, so full of utter and complete FAIL, no sense can be made of what he said. None whatsoever.