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I Am Beginning to Hate Subway June 25, 2010

Posted by Skippy in Rants.
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Y’all, I love a good tuna sandwich. Anyone who knows me knows that, next to ice cream, Pepsi and a hot guy, I love tuna sandwiches. Even moreso, I love a tuna sandwich from Subway. Preferably on Honey Oat with spinach, tomatoes, green peppers and a couple of pickles. Being the slightly OCD person that I am, that order hardly changes. Also, I have to have extra tuna, because Subway thinks that two paltry scoops of tuna a sandwich makes.

Tonight, I decided that I wanted a tuna sandwich for dinner. So off I went to the local Wal-Mart Supercrapcenter which has a Subway inside. I’ve gone there so much, that some of the staff know what I’m going to get–seriously, I can’t remember the last time I ate something OTHER than a extra-tuna tuna sandwich. Anyway, when the guy (who I’ve never seen before) started making my sandwich, he put all of two scoops on the bread. I said, “Um, that was supposed to be extra tuna.”

His response? “This is extra tuna.”

Oh…WHAT? Hell, no, it ain’t. He then follows up with, “A regular tuna sandwich is one and a half scoops.”

Oh, bullshit. That is such fucking cheap-ass bullshit. And I say that as a bona fide cheap-ass. But goddamnit, if I’m going to pay well over five bucks for a damn tuna sandwich with extra tuna, I had better get some goddamn extra tuna. Again, the people at this particular Subway have ALWAYS done four scoops–two is regular, four is extra. I don’t know what retarded, ass-spelunking planet this fool thought I was from, but he should know: don’t fuck around with a hungry Skippy. He will cut you and look at you like it was your fault.

Anyway, I got the extra tuna. But I’ll be damned if I go back to Subway. Seriously. I’ve had issues with Subways before. At one Subway, they didn’t want to put spinach on my sandwich. At another, they acted all pissy about the amount of tuna I wanted. You know what? Frak it; I’m going to make my own damn tuna sandwiches from now on.

Fig. 1: Cheap-ass bastards.

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