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Do You Enjoy A Trainwreck? Of Course You Do. May 29, 2010

Posted by Skippy in Observations, Politics.
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Children, American politics is hot, stanky mess. With the midterm elections coming up, both major political parties are pouring money into assaulting your eyes and ears with advertisements. From now until November, you’ll get to see smiling white men and women (for the most part—-I’m sure there’s a black person in the mix…somewhere) telling you how much they love—LOVE—a universe-spanning superintelligence, the conglomeration of arbitrary land designations called “the United States,” and their own shiny, happy progeny. They will also assail their competitors, accusing them of all sorts of perfidy and malfeasance. To let Candidate A tell it, Candidate B will enslave you, eat your babies and make you watch. The political process is much like sausage making: in other words, you don’t want to watch it in action.

But sometimes, the trainwreck that is American politics is just so damned entertaining, as in the case of ex-GOPer turned Democrat Tim Crawford. He somehow got the Democratic congressional nomination for Indiana’s fifth district (pols think that voters favored him because of his very American sounding name: his opponent’s name? Dr. Nasser Hanna. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions). At a meet-and-greet sponsored by the Hamilton County Democratic Women, Crawford got to field questions from the audience. What follows is a tragicomedy in five parts.

Part I: Our Idiot Doesn’t Realize What He’s Gotten Himself Into:

Part II: Our Idiot Is In Deep…Dig UP, Stupid!

Part III: Our Idiot Thinks Gay Is A Mutation…Kinda Like Those X-Men.

Part IV: Our Idiot Uses the Word “Demographics”…It Does Not Mean What He Thinks It Means:

Part V: Our Idiot Does Not Know How A Bill Becomes Law:

(pay attention to the woman sitting closest to Crawford at around 6:34)

Apparently, he said he’d quit the race…and then later retracted his quitting. I guess that makes him somewhat different from Sarah Palin; I mean, when she quits something, by golly, she QUITS.

He’s a bit of a douche, from what I can see in the video and his statement.

Ok, so, after getting thoroughly grilled by a bunch of people—people, by the way, you claim to represent—you get all shirty and say dumb shit like,

Eventually things got out of control, forming into a one sided show for disapproval of me. After being bombarded by disagreeing group interjections, I was flustered and felt bullied. This led me to make an irrational and provoked response that I was dropping out of the race. I believe this was their agenda all along.

First: Things never got “out of control.” Yes, people grilled you, but never once did you give anything resembling a coherent or cogent response or argument as to why you were suddenly all about the Democratic Party. You were asked to name three key Democratic positions with which you agreed; you couldn’t give ONE. Second, if a you can’t give one single reason you’ve switched party affiliations and only offer that you like Barack Obama because he’s “charismatic,” you may rest assured that those Democrats who’ve gathered to suss you out may have a slightly negative appraisal of you. And third: honey, if you can’t take the heat from a small group of older adults and you call THAT being “bullied,” then you have absolutely NO business running for local dogcatcher, much less a congressional seat.

And finally; dude, you fail at life for using your mother’s illness as an excuse for a) not knowing jack shit about our political processes, b) being disingenuous about, well, everything, and c) then waffling about quitting. As one of the women who “flustered and bullied” you said, “Honey, why don’t you take care of your mama?” Or better yet, let people know that stuff up front and stop using it as an post hoc excuse for your inanity.

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Comments»

1. Heidi - May 29, 2010

You had me at perfidy and malfeasance.

2. Chirpir News | Do You Enjoy A Trainwreck? Of Course You Do. « The Skippy Review - May 30, 2010

[…] Read full story […]


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