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Another Day, Another Politician Accused of Adultery May 26, 2010

Posted by Skippy in Observations, Politics.
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South Carolina politicians have brought no small amount of national attention—-and, frankly, derision and ridicule—-to the state. First, we had the philandering governor Mark Sanford who first, went missing for a few days, then came back with a laaaaame excuse about “hiking the Appalachian Trail,” and then, when the truth of his adultery came out, called his Argentinian piece on the side his soul mate—-not the mother of his four boys. Oh, and he spent taxpayer money to go see his Argentinian honey, but when called on it (and the fact that what he did was, at the very least, improper), he refused to resign.

Fig. 1: Klassy.

Then there’s Joe Wilson. You may remember him for his one and only Top 40 hit, “YOU LIE!” Now, it’s not unusual for politicians to heckle each other. In some parts of the world, watching legislators in action is like watching hockey. You went to see a fight, but lawmaking broke out.

Fig. 2: I daresay, you won’t read about this in the Federalist Papers!

We here in America consider our legislative processes to be fairly sedate affairs. No matter how pissed off Tea Baggers or anti-war hippies get, our elected representatives (usually) carry out their official duties (screwing around on their spouses does not count as an official duty) with a modicum of civility. In fact, the rest of us consider the legislative process to be rather boring—-C-SPAN is not known for being exciting television, you know.

So, when Joe Wilson, representative from the 2nd congressional district in S.C., yelled out “YOU LIE” following a statement that President Barack Obama made during an address to a joint session of Congress in September of 2009, everyone got riled up. People from his own party (Republican, by the way) condemned the outburst…and then former president Jimmy Carter really stirred the bees’ nest when he argued that Wilson’s disrespectful outburst was based in racism. CNN and the rest of the corporate “news” media pounced on this like a Rottweiler on a freshly cooked steak. Of course, others from places other than the South took this as an opportunity to say, “Oh, why doesn’t South Carolina (or really, any other state that isn’t wonderful like mine) just secede again! Who needs ’em?”

Never mind that Wilson later apologized (probably under immense pressure from his own party). Wilson will always be remembered for this:

Fig. 3: YOU LIE!

Which brings us to our third, and latest politician to make me wonder, “What the hell is in the water down here?” Nikki Haley is a congressional representative from Lexington, S.C. She’s the first Indian American to hold office here in the state (yay! We’re totes progressive here in S.C.!) and has thrown her hat in the ring to be the next governor of the state. She’s also thrown her lot in with the Tea Baggers. She even got an endorsement from that bastion of common sense and never-say-I-quit fortitude, Sarah Palin.

I’m sorry, but if Sarah Palin said the sky was blue, I’d go to at least three scientists for confirmation. I don’t think she’s met a lie she didn’t like, frankly.

Anyway, Haley was bopping along just fine. Her damnably annoying campaign ads were screwing up my ability to enjoy an episode of Judge Judy without diving for the remote, and it looked like she’d pretty much get the Republican nomination for Chief Fucker Upper in Charge. Until conservative blogger Will Folks alleged that he and Haley had had an affair.

Fig. 4: That’s what he said.

Now children, this is just a hot mess. It has too much shadiness around it. And lord knows I’m not one to jump to the defense of a Republican politician, but this has “political opportunism” written all over it. Folks alleges that this affair occurred in 2007 when he worked for Haley, but these allegations come right before the Republican gubernatorial primary. Folks claims he has evidence of the affair, but as of today, hasn’t released one iota of this alleged evidence. Haley, of course, denies the affair, saying that she’s been “100% faithful to [her] husband.” Also, there are rumblings that this is the work of one of her rivals (Gresham Barrett has quickly denied any involvement), designed to disrupt the surprising momentum of her campaign.

If–IF–this is true, then “here we go again.” Another “family values”-God loves me NOT you-“conservative” gets caught with her metaphorical pants down. If it isn’t true, then…wow. Either way, South Carolina politicians (and, by extension, the state itself) again come off looking extremely bad.

Seriously, what IS in the water down here?

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