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Facepalm Is Early! May 6, 2010

Posted by Skippy in Gay and Lesbian Issues, Observations.
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Children, I will be away from the computer this weekend, so I am giving you Facepalm Friday…on Thursday!

Apparently, it’s time to add another euphemism in the lexicon of hypocrites who get caught doing the very thing they argue against.
First, we had Larry Craig and his “wide leg stance” in a bathroom stall.
Then, we had Mark Sanford and “hiking the Appalachian Trail” when, in fact, he was sexing up an Argentinian.

We can now add “lifting his luggage” and “sharing the Gospel in great detail” as two more euphemisms for being a randy hypocrite caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

There’s this guy named George Rekers, who is apparently a leader in the Christian right’s fight against homosexuality. I’ve never heard of him…at least, not until I stumbled across this:

On April 13, the “rent boy” (whom we’ll call Lucien) arrived at Miami International Airport on Iberian Airlines Flight 6123, after a ten-day, fully subsidized trip to Europe. He was soon followed out of customs by an old man with an atavistic mustache and a desperate blond comb-over, pushing an overburdened baggage cart.

Well, there’s really nothing suspicious here, right? I mean, what’s wrong with taking a young thang on a “fully subsidized trip to Europe”? While I’m not exactly young, I can’t say I’d turn down an all-expenses paid trip to Europe. But then again, I’m a cheapskate. At any rate, an older man taking a younger man on a trip to Europe might appear a bit dodgy when

That man was George Alan Rekers, of North Miami — the callboy’s client and, as it happens, one of America’s most prominent anti-gay activists. Rekers, a Baptist minister who is a leading scholar for the Christian right, left the terminal with his gay escort, looking a bit discomfited when a picture of the two was snapped with a hot-pink digital camera.

Let’s get George Takei’s reaction:

Indeed!

But wait! Perhaps we should not be so quick to judge. I mean, perhaps there’s a logical, totally reasonable reason that we’ve overlooked.

Reached by New Times before a trip to Bermuda, Rekers said he learned Lucien was a prostitute only midway through their vacation. “I had surgery,” Rekers said, “and I can’t lift luggage. That’s why I hired him.”

Um. Okay. Let’s…um…WHAT? Children, to get ahold of this “Lucien,” one has to go to a totally NSFW website appropriately called “rentboy.com.” Once you’re there, you have to agree to their terms of service–and honey, it ain’t a Disney site asking you if you’re comfortable looking at images of Minnie and Mickey Mouse handing out candy to sick children. Again, this isn’t safe for work…hell, it probably isn’t safe for home (if you happen to be a closeted, self-hating homosexual, that is). And there aren’t any ads for guys who are looking to literally lift your luggage. So, what this Rekers said is, most likely, a bold-faced lie.

But y’all, it gets worse. Or more hilarious, depending on your point of view. Rekers responds to a blogger named Joe:

Like John the Baptist and Jesus, I have a loving Christian ministry to homosexuals and prostitutes in which I share the Good News of Jesus Christ with them (see I Corinthians 6:8-11). Contrary to false gossip, innuendo, and slander about me, I do not in any way “hate” homosexuals, but I seek to lovingly share two types of messages to them, as I did with the young man called “Lucien” in the news story: [1] It is possible to cease homosexual practices to avoid the unacceptable health risks associated with that behavior, and [2] the most important decision one can make is to establish a relationship with God for all eternity by trusting in Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for the forgiveness of your sins, including homosexual sins. If you talk with my travel assistant that the story called “Lucien,” you will find I spent a great deal of time sharing scientific information on the desirability of abandoning homosexual intercourse, and I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with him in great detail.

As they say, “the jokes write themselves.”

But on the other hand, it’s just plain sad. It’s sad and ridiculous to live your life trumpeting antiquated notions of sexuality and using a problematic (at best!) collection of texts to support your crumbling worldview. It’s sad and ridiculous that you live your life being the “hit dog hollering.” I’ve been there, done that. I spent a good portion of my adolescent and college years running around screaming about “morality”–when in fact, I was so far in the closet, I was hanging out with Mr. Tumnus. And what happens with someone so deeply closeted, so self-hating that he spends his life characterizing his own sexuality as “disordered,” is that he finds himself “acting out” in ways that are, frankly, dumb. Hence, going on rentboy.com to find a “luggage lifter” and then, without a seeming trace of irony, justifying your pathetic self with hilarious nonsense about “sharing the Gospel…in great detail.”

I’m sure you did, Dr. Rekers. I’m sure you did.

Dr. Rekers, congratulations! You are the recipient of today’s Captain Jean-Luc Picard Facepalm:

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Comments»

1. Heidi - May 6, 2010

I loved it that he tried to claim he was ministering to “Lucien.” Yep. I’ll bet!


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