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It’s Time… April 30, 2010

Posted by Skippy in Observations.
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…for Facepalm Friday!

And children, there are a lot of candidates for the Captain Jean-Luc Picard Facepalm.

Candidate 1: Ken Blackwell

For those of you who remember the 2004 election, Blackwell was the Secretary of State for Ohio…and the Chief Elections Officer. According to Wikipedia,

Blackwell also announced he would enforce an Ohio State election law decreeing that any person who appeared at a polling place to vote but whose registration could not be confirmed would be given only a provisional ballot; if it were later determined that the person had attempted to vote in the wrong precinct, then their provisional ballot would not be counted. He also directed poll workers to refuse to distribute provisional ballots unless they were satisfied as to the voter’s residence. The Democratic party promptly filed a lawsuit claiming that the policy was “intended to disenfranchise minority voters” and in violation of federal election law, specifically section 302 of the Help America Vote Act (HAVA).

What a prince. Anyway, he’s a conservative Republican who really, really liked G.W. Bush. He’s not a fan of the Obama. Matter of fact, he’s so not a fan of the Obama, he wrote a book about it. And he went on The Daily Show to talk about the book. Wanna see the interview? Go Here.

Anyway, Blackwell goes on The Daily Show…and gets his ass handed to him by Jon Stewart. I wasn’t as impressed with Jon’s performance as I was horrified by the utter and complete stupidity of Ken Blackwell. This man allegedly wrote a book claiming that Barack Obama is making an unprecedented power grab and threatening the very foundations of our constitutional democracy.

How soon we forget!

So Jon, being a better journalist than everyone on CNNFoxMSNBCBSABC, simply asks this guy for examples. For facts. For concrete evidence to support his rather provocative claims.

This fool couldn’t produce any. Seriously. Watch the interview–watch the whole three-part interview–and show me where Blackwell did anything other than regurgitate talking points and try to talk over Stewart and then guffaw awkwardly when Stewart schooled him on this thing called “facts.” In this interview, this fool embodied virtually everything that’s wrong with political “discourse” in America: he relied on fearmongering, hyberbole, and rank idiocy. When he got called on it, he folded like a card table.


Candidate 2: The State of Oklahoma

The Oklahoma Legislature voted Tuesday to override the governor’s vetoes of two abortion measures, one of which requires women to undergo an ultrasound and listen to a detailed description of the fetus before getting an abortion.

Though other states have passed similar measures requiring women to have ultrasounds, Oklahoma’s law goes further, mandating that a doctor or technician set up the monitor so the woman can see it and describe the heart, limbs and organs of the fetus. No exceptions are made for rape and incest victims.

A second measure passed into law on Tuesday prevents women who have had a disabled baby from suing a doctor for withholding information about birth defects while the child was in the womb.

If I have to explain why this is ninety kinds of crazy, you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog.

It is amazing to me how rabid people who want to outlaw abortion are about fetuses…but don’t give a flying crap about actual, living human beings. It is amazing to me how these people will go to any lengths to impose their morality on women’s bodies, but scream bloody freaking murder about “Obamacare.” It is amazing to me that these are people who claim to be on the “side of life,” but think nothing of a law that allows doctors to lie to their patients. Let me repeat: this law allows doctors to lie to their patients.

If State Senator Glen Coffee had a doctor lie to him about anything, he’d sue the doctor faster than you can say, “idiotic hypocrite.”

“The goal of this legislation is just to make a statement for the sanctity of human life,” State Senator Todd Lamb, the majority floor leader, said in an interview after the vote. “Maybe someday these babies will grow up to be police officers and arrest bad people, or will find a cure for cancer.”

Oh, for the love of–sanctity of human life? Really? Then get rid of the death penalty. Increase funding for education and the arts. Tighten environmental regulations and increase wages so people can actually live. And don’t spout more sanctimonious claptrap about the fetus one day becoming a police officer or a scientist–it could just as easily become a baby-killing meth dealer or a rapist.


Candidate 3: Tim James, candidate for governor of Alabama

If your blood hasn’t boiled yet, then watch this.

Tim James is running for governor of Alabama, and he’s mad about the state offering the driver’s license exam in other languages. No, wait: he claims that the state makes the DMV give the exam in twelve different languages. I guess in Alabama, you have to take the test twelve times. Damn big government!

Tim James is very angry. Or constipated. Or angry because he’s constipated. Either way, he really needs to get that hemorrhoid looked at. He appears angry that not everyone in Alabama speaks English. I know how he feels. I hate when I’m reading a paper, and the writer writes “their” when they mean “they’re” or they write in the passive voice. I totally agree with him when Tim James says that everyone should learn English.

Oh, wait–he’s not talking about using English correctly. He’s talking about how horrible it is that there are Americans who–GASP!–don’t speak English. Hey, Timmy? Newsflash: the first Americans–you know, the indigenous peoples whose lands were stolen from them through hook and crook? They didn’t speak it either. Neither did Italian immigrants, Greek immigrants or Polish immigrants. But hey, they’re not brown people who work the low-paying jobs that you Timmy wouldn’t stoop to take, right? These immigrants who are the subject of your ire–they’re not your “kind” of people–the right people who live in manicured neighborhoods and spend lazy days at playing golf and sending their precious snowflakes to débutante balls; if only “they” spoke English, it would make it so much easier for you to communicate to them the ways you’d like your lawn cut and your roads constructed. It really must be hard being a privileged white man running for governor.

Y’all, I am spent. I can’t choose between all of these crazy whackaloons, so you know what? All three cuckoo candidates get the Captain Jean-Luc Picard Facepalm of the Week:

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Comments»

1. Heidi - April 30, 2010

I’m so glad you didn’t choose one. They are all MOST deserving!


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