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Facepalm Friday! April 9, 2010

Posted by Skippy in Uncategorized.
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I’ve been seeing commercials for Blu-Ray editions of “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. One would think, “Finally! Lord of the Rings on Blu-Ray! Sweeeeet!!” And those of you who know me might think that I would be on this like white on rice.

NOT.

Fig. 1 This is not the DVD you’re looking for.

These fools are releasing the theatrical versions on DVD. The theatrical versions. After nearly everyone I know already owns the extended editions (you know, the ones that are even closer to the books). You know, this shit was cute when the theatrical versions were just finishing their run: yes, I ran my happy ass out to Wal-Mart at midnight to get the DVDs–and this is after having seen each of the LOTR movies eleven freaking times. Apiece.

And then, they announced extended editions of the movies. I couldn’t have been happier and I didn’t even mind that I had just bought the DVDs of the theatrical versions. I had the books, the DVDs, and the soundtracks (I listen to the Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack when I write!), so a little more money for the extended editions wasn’t a big deal.

Not now. I am not interested in buying movies two or three times over and over again.

Fig 2. Do you hear me, George Lucas? Stop fucking around with the Star Wars movies! You ruined everything!

Besides, aren’t Blu-Ray discs supposed to be able to contain a lot more information? They couldn’t put both the theatrical and the extended editions on a disc? Again, why would I buy the Blu-Ray discs of the theatrical versions when I would bet my next paycheck that New Line Cinema will release the extended editions on Blu-Ray within the next couple of years? Is New Line so stupid as to think that this is going to be a tactic that will work? It might work for George Lucas and his fifty billion versions of the original Star Wars trilogy, but not this time.

And for this, New Line Cinema gets

UPDATE: Yes, children, there is another winner of Facepalm Friday, and it comes to you courtesy of the great state of Arkansas. It seems a 16 year-old boy is filing harassment charges against his mother. From Gawker:

A 16-year-old Arkansas boy filed harassment charges against his mother after she logged onto his Facebook account, changed his password, and posted slanderous things about him. She claims she was monitoring his behavior. No wonder he lives with his grandmother.

No one is saying what the slanderous things are, but they must be pretty bad. The mother in question, Denise New, had some choice statements for KATV in Arkansas about the case.

“You’re within your legal rights to monitor your child and to have a conversation with your child on Facebook whether it’s his account, or your account or whoever’s account. It’s crazy to me that we’re even having this interview…I read things on his Facebook about how he had gone to Hot Springs one night and was driving 95 m.p.h. home because he was upset with a girl and it was his friend that called me and told me about all this that prompted me to even actually start really going through his Facebook to see what was going on.”

Apparently her son left his account active on his mother’s computer while visiting and she just navigated her way into trouble from there. And she’s right. Parents should keep an eye on their children’s social networking sites. But that doesn’t mean they should go on there, talk shit about them, pretend to be them, talk to their friends, and generally wreck havoc. New says she’s going to fight the charges for the rights of parents everywhere. We’ll find out what happens after court date in May.

Uh. What? What the damn? Who does that to their child? As the report says, it’s not at all surprising the boy lives with his grandmother. I mean…well, I’m just verklempt. Denise New, you are a ginormous hot mess. Get help, honey.

And for that, Denise New, you are the recipient of today’s second Captain Jean-Luc Picard Facepalm. Enjoy it, you sad, sad person!

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