Real Housewives of Atlanta: Crazy People Squawking in South Africa January 30, 2012Posted by Skippy in Real Housewives.
Last Time: All these bitches acted like they wanted to go to Africa. Except Kim. What’s up with that? Marlo the Concubine backdoors her criminal ass into the show. Then they go to Africa. The whole damn continent.
They’re flying. And yes, they’re going to South Africa. We get a lot of in-flight shit. I would hate to be in first-class with these women. I’d have to have some Bose headphones. But they and their metric ton of luggage make it to South Africa without major incident. Cue vaguely African music! Kandi does wonder if these bitches have any common sense. Short answer: NO.
NeNe has no idea that Cape Town would look like a city, and Marlo the Concubine hates sharing bathrooms. Well, the Concubine must really have hated being in the clink, then. She must have hated it each and every one of the seven times she got arrested. Phaedra notes that the Concubine should have planned her own damn trip so she could have her own fucking bathroom. The Concubine proceeds to try to give etiquette lessons. Remember, this bitch was NOT EVEN INVITED. Oh, wait. She probably was…by Bravo.
They get to their luxury apartments and it turns into America’s Next Top Model. Ladies, choose your rooms! The poor concierge then has to deal with the Concubine asking all sorts of stupid fucking shit. Ugly American? Thy name is Marlo Hampton.
Kandi’s about sick and damn tired of the Concubine’s attempts to “erase her past.” Well, Phaedra will not be outdone! She knows the King! Of what, I don’t fucking know. She got everyone a gift…well, everyone except the Concubine. Well, that’s what you get for getting casually plus-one’d, says Phaedra. To add to it, Sheree knows someone who is throwing a party, and she’s going. So is Kandi. And so is Phaedra. Oops. AWKWARD!
Oh, hai, Kim! Blah blah blah, stuff happens that isn’t remotely interesting. I hate Kim’s father. He’s creepy. Kim begins whining about her “assistant.” Bitch, shut up.
Back in South Africa, the women go on a boat. Phaedra notes that, Kandi excluded, the other women have no interest in discussing politics or South Africa’s history…because they probably don’t know it. We’ll have none of that, when there’s drama to be had! And we do, courtesy of the Concubine, of course. Will no one put this heffa in her place?
Ok, I’m’a say this: I like Sheree, Kandi, and Phaedra. The Cynthia-NeNe-Concubine triumvirate is just a black hole of stupidity and vapidity. Sheree invites Cynthia to the Friend Dinner…but not NeNe and the Concubine. And why should she? Anyway, Cynthia goes run-tell-dat to NeNe and the Concubine. NeNe stupidly says that Sheree could have invited the Concubine. Again, why should she? Showing her classiness, Concubine busts up in Sheree’s spot is all “Why ain’t you invite me?”
Oh, this bitch goes there: “That’s why you don’t have a man. Go and hang with them faggots with your ugly stupid ass. Fuck you, bitch.” Don’t believe me? WATCH:
Fig. 1: Diary of a Bunch of Crazy Heffas.
Rant time, children! Look, Marlo, you useless-assed concubine. I realize that Bravo knows that you are a ratings goldmine. You’re loud, stupid, delusional, and desperate to grab on to any kind of fame. You have a checkered past that makes a Bravo executive salivate. But bitch, when you drop the f-bomb, know that the children will NOT be lining up to support you. Please know, you troglodyte that we “faggots” have more class in our little fingers than you do in your entire body—trite weave included. You aren’t even a flash-in-the-pan, and you aren’t due fifteen minutes of fame. You’re trying to give people lessons on etiquette, but don’t have enough common sense to not invite yourself along for a trip to South Africa and you for damn sure don’t have enough decency to not complain once you get there! Check yourself, please.